Finding Sex, Love & Connection in the Age of Apps


On May 12 from 6:30 PM to 8:00  PM, San Francisco AIDS Foundation will host the next Real Talk community forum on dating in San Francisco at Magnet. Find out more about “Is Dating Dead? Connection in the Age of Apps” on our Facebook page. 


Last month, the gay dating site GrabHim.net posted the results of their gay dating and hookup app survey.  More than 4,000 gay men responded with answers to questions about how they use gay dating and hookup apps like Grinder, Scruff, or Adam4Adam.

The survey questions (and how they were answered) illuminate some of the issues pervading the gay dating and hookup scene. From questions about race (“How likely are you to initiate contact with somebody outside of your race?”) to honesty (“How do you typically respond when somebody asks if you’re hung?”) to HIV status (“Assuming you are HIV+, at what point are you most likely to disclose your status?”), the survey’s findings also provoke further reflection.

Among the survey’s key findings:

* About a quarter (24%) of men who took the survey reported that they were looking for a hookup only, with only a small minority (10%) saying they wanted a date or relationship from their app use.

* Almost half (45%) reported that they preferred a date but were okay with a hookup if it felt right. But almost three-quarters (71%) of men said that they were able to start a relationship of some kind with someone they met on an app. 

* The vast majority (83%) of respondents said they had ever sent “dic pics” to someone on an app, and most (76%) said they answered questions honestly about if they were well-endowed.

* When it comes to initiating contact with someone of a different race, 30 percent of respondents said they were unlikely or highly unlikely to do so.

* The most popular app used by survey respondents was Grindr, which almost a third of respondents report using. Men in the survey report using an additional eight apps.

What do these responses mean about how we’re looking for sex, dates and romantic connection? Are there social do’s and don’ts to using apps? Have apps and online dating sites made finding connection easier or harder? We’ll be discussing these types of questions—and many more—during the next San Francisco AIDS Foundation Real Talk community forum panel discussion. The event will be held on May 12, from 6:30 PM to 8:00 PM at Magnet. Join us for an open and honest conversation about dating experiences in San Francisco, what we can do to make it better, and getting what we’re actually looking for.    

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